Some video games are great fun for the whole family. Other video games are too weird, too dirty, or just too terrible to play in front of your parents. Make sure nobody you love is watching over your shoulder as you play any of these games. South Park: The Stick of Truth If you know anything about South Park, you might be able to guess that any video game based on the cartoon would definitely not be safe to play around parents. But The Stick of Truth might be even ruder than the actual show it was based on!
You play as the New Kid, and at one point you have to sneak into your parents' bedroom. When your parents are… a bit busy. The game censors absolutely nothing, forcing you to sit through every one of New Kid's parents' moans and screams of ecstasy. On top of that, you can also summon Jesus to shoot your opponents with a machine gun. If all that isn't enough to sway your own interest in these games, at least save playing it for when Mom and Dad aren't home. And then move right on to the sequel The Fractured But Whole… which is arguably worse. My Name Is Mayo It might be the single most pointless game of all time, if you can even call it a game. Your goal in My Name is Mayo is to open a jar of mayonnaise, which you do by clicking on the jar over and over and over. And that's it! For some reason, the jar also wears various outfits during your quest to open it. Sometimes it's knitting, or rocking a guitar, while other times it's wearing a bra and panties. Look! Now it's French! If you're patient enough to click the jar 10,000 times, you will successfully open it and beat the game. Congratulations, I guess! However, if your parents catch you playing this, they might start to worry about you. Duke Nukem Forever With its "fart jokes plus hot girls" formula, the Duke Nukem franchise was never going to be family friendly. But Duke Nukem Forever cranked that formula up to 11, leaving even some of the most hardcore fans uncomfortable. "Oooh, melts in my mouth AND in my pants." "You can dip in my fruit salad ANYTIME, hotpants." The game follows Mr. Nukem in his quest to save every hot girl on planet Earth from being kidnapped by aliens, all while spouting uncomfortably rude phrases and pickup lines. "You must make a good gyro sandwich, because you're giving me a footlong." As for the actual gameplay, Duke Nukem Forever opens with Nukem, followed by the reveal of him playing his own game... with the help of two girls. You definitely won't want to play this around your folks. Catherine The box art alone for Catherine is enough to make parents wonder what you're up to. You play as a man engaged to a nice girl named Katherine with a K, while you're also being seduced by a wild woman named Catherine with a C. Catherine with a C turns out to be a nightmare succubus set on sending unfaithful men to the underworld. You'll need to climb your way out of hell, after which you'll be able to choose between the two Catherines, but you could also choose to become a space traveler instead, or overthrow the ruler of the Underworld and rule it with the demon Catherine at your side.
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AuthorViviane Skipper is professional writer, blogger and happy mother. She lives in Chicago, Illinois but she is going to move to London with her family. In the spare time she likes traveling, skating, playing with her son. ArchivesCategories
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